Sunday, March 11, 2007

Metaphorically Speaking...

Samples from some of the HSC essays from the Youth of Australia:

Her face was an apple that had its two sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of e-coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as
a rude surcharge-free ATM.


The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBain fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're
on vacation in another city and the news comes on at 7:30 p.m. instead of 7:00.


Her hair glistened in the rain like a tissue after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other
like two freight trains, one having left Canberra 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Golbourn
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.


They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Dave Hughe's teeth.

Jack and Jill had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Even in his last years, Grandpa had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually
lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.


The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

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